I have learned a lot about triathlon racing over the last 15 years (yes, in case you are wondering, I started when I was 15 years old – there’s my first bit of humor).
Here is a humorous look at some racing lessons I have gathered throughout that time.
1. DO get to the pre-race transition at the last minute. This is REALLY great for getting the adrenaline pumping and your HR in the red zone before you hit the water. This is an awesome way to get to know the hot lifeguard when s/he pulls you out of the water in full panic attack mode.
2. DO NOT position yourself at the front of the swim pack if you plan to breast stroke, side stroke, back stroke or stroke slowly. Sharks may get you from below but other nerve-wrenched swimmers will get you from above, swimming over the top of you like spawning salmon.
3. DO NOT smile, get high fives and look people in the eye as you go through transitions. This is sure to give you an unfair advantage causing unexpected energy surges and jealous competitors.
4. DO ride REALLY hard in a heavy gear as you leave the transition area.This will fatigue your legs quickly and then you will have a legitimate reason for dogging it up the next hill.
5. DO NOT forget to hydrate and take in calories while on the bike. DO be the athlete complaining about the Gu wrapper that went through the laundry because it stuck to the inside of your shorts instead of being thrown onto the course.
6. DO go REALLY hard on the bike so you have a super fast bike split. This will make all your competitors feel awesome when they pass you on the run.
7. DO run out of transition hard and fast because you will look really cool and fit. You can slow down when nobody is looking.
8. DO NOT let your inner demons flare their ugly heads when somebody passes you. This will suck the life force out of you faster than Usain Bolt winning a 100 meter race.
9. DO celebrate your completion regardless of your placement. Enjoy every quirky, nerve-wracking, silly, serious, hard, easy, competitive, aspect of the event – all the DO’s and the DON’TS.
10. DO share every last bit of race detail with your non-racing friends. You can then time them to see how long it takes before their eyes gloss over and they eventually run the other way.
Yours in Training Fun,